I'm Nice

I have a confession to make. I'm nice. No, I mean really, really nice. Not a lot of people know this. I'm much nicer than I let people know and I'm much nicer than I allow even myself to believe. In fact, I would classify myself as being "in the closet" in regards to my niceness. Oftentimes, I have asked my husband to take credit for some good deed I have done for our friends because I simply do not like the attention. I like to give off this tough-as-nails exterior. And I am tough, but dang it, I'm nice, too.

Well, unfortunately today I was schooled in the hard reality that not everyone is as nice. Not half as nice. At this point, I would settle for neutral. But there are mean, callous, manipulative savages out there, often dressed as lambs. I knew this. But it cuts so much deeper when you go out of your way to sacrifice something of great value to yourself solely for the benefit of another, only to have that same, very altruistic behavior used to stab you in the back and literally create a severe loss for you and your family.

I knew better than to be so nice in the situation at hand. I should have thought of myself and my needs. But it still absolutely floored me when my niceness was used against me and came back to bite me in the butt.

I was so furious today at this discovery that I literally could have spit nails. I won't go into details or name names, but it was quite a wake-up call. It made me want to retreat within and only look out for me and mine. Screw everyone else. But then I remember my very last blog entry, about Elena, her family, and the way their story affected me, and I just can't. As much as I want to fully unleash my Scorpio-Italian fury (and believe me, it ain't pretty), I can't. I'm a mom. I'm a professional. I'm nice.

But I do think I'll go punch something about now.