Finding Security in the Strangest of Places

So today I got my hair cut. No big deal. At least not for me. For my daughter, M, who is four, this can be a traumatizing experience.

M has been obsessed with hair since the day she was born. I think it is because she didn't have any, and I have to admit that I was in denial that she didn't have any either. I used to put those baby headbands on her head all of time when when she was a baby. As soon as she grew maybe three hairs, I tied a bow around them like Pebbles Flintstone, and I totally thought it looked full. I look back at photos of what I did to that child and wonder "What was I thinking?" I am in complete bewilderment that I honestly didn't realize my baby was bald! And that's ok!

But I digress. Since the moment that she could make a fist, M has always had a lock of hair enclosed in it. For literally the first two years of her life, I sat in the back seat of the car with her so that she could have a hold of my hair while my husband drove. Whenever she was upset or scared, she'd cry "Hair!" and she'd need a lock to grasp to calm her down. To fall asleep, she still prefers to stroke my hair.

I made the mistake of taking her to the salon with me to get my hair cut and colored about a year ago. I should've known better, because she won't even let my husband/her daddy touch my hair. At the salon, she was totally traumatized. You would've thought that the kid was seeing her mother undergo medieval torture. She screamed and yelled and threw an absolute fit, telling that (and I quote) "Bad Lady" to get off her mommy's hair! I had to call my husband to come pick her up, in fact carry her out, screaming and kicking.

Last month when I came back from getting my hair cut, M cried hysterically for a solid hour, grieving for that one-inch that I had been left on that salon floor. She wanted it back!

Today, I not only had to sneak out to get the job done, but I also had to avoid the topic altogether to prevent another breakdown. And she hasn't noticed a difference in my length. Yet. Shhh.

But I'm starting to worry that I'm indulging too much in her obsession with hair. I mean, what if I decide to get a cute pixie cut or something? M would just absolutely freak.

I'm also starting to wonder if such obsessive behavior is genetic. Sure it is. And it comes from me, right?! And our younger daughter, G, has a similar issue.

G (age two) has been obsessed with ears since the day she was born. She grasps someone's ear whenever she's excited; she grasps someone's ear for consolation whenever she is sad; she grasps someone's ear (more forcefully) whenever she's angry; and she absolutely has to grasp someone's ear (or her own) whenever she's sleepy. I had to take out my earrings for good shortly after she was born due to her obsession. Otherwise I'd have ripped lobes.

Is this akin to other children who have a blankey or a favorite, raggedy stuffed animal that they drag around everywhere? My kids just use my hair and ears in lieu of these items? Is it completely normal and even good that my kids just seek comfort in the hair and ears of their mother instead of some inanimate object? Or is it deeper than that?